Over the years I have been enormously successful. To my shame, I chose instead to focus on the occasional misstep life laid before me. The light beaconing upon others dimmed for me. Then one day like the Ugly Duckling, I saw, I already held within me the very things I sought. I am possible. I am more than good enough. How are you doing in your relationship, career, health, and the quality of your friends? If you had a Magic Marker how would you design your life based on what you know about you and life now?
So, much of our confusion in life is our not knowing who we are. Just think about all the steps we take to fit in. Like a new pair of jeans destined for summer we hope will fit but knowing squirming and wiggling won’t improve the situation. Until believing, we take the appropriate actions. A constant wave of I should have done this, I won’t be loved. I won’t be accepted, I won’t belong, and I won’t be pretty, compelling us to step back into the shadows of the dark. Our reticent behavior creeps into the numerous layers of our life. seek answers in ways that can be detrimental to whom we long most urgently to be. I felt this way for most of my life until something happened.
Hans Christian Andersen wrote a magnificent story we all know as the Ugly Duckling. The mother duck discovers one of her new chicks is larger than the others. The new chick was scorned by the other ducks. She is mocked for not being as attractive.
Every day the “Ugly Duckling” is tormented painfully. One day the “Ugly Duckling” elects to leave home hoping to find solace. Sound familiar? I recall the words when I cringed that others might find out who I was on the inside, “Why do I have to go so far to find myself?” I can start where I am right now.
The Ugly Duckling one day sees a flock of beautiful birds flying. He follows these ducks to a river. In the stilled water seeing a reflection of a magnificent swan. The Ugly Duckling realizes it is she.
With the reverberating sounds, all around us that we are not as good as “They are.”
There will always be voices insisting we are “Ugly Ducklings.” We agree with the voices of others that they become our own. We speak it but we don’t believe we deserve it. Our beliefs hold us back. We run the tape of our where we are comparative to where we believe we deserve to be. If we keep telling ourselves we aren’t smart enough, attractive enough, or loved enough we are never happy.
Which plays for many of us. We act out on this belief system of what we don’t have.
Our deep-seated beliefs of what we believe we deserve. We rise to the level of our expectations. We seldom get what we want because our life story is lived in the fear that this dream is forever beyond my reach.
Visualize what you want not what you believe won’t happen for you. See it for yourself. Then work as if your life depends on it. Because it does. I have lived the same way. Bounced from a plane en route to South Africa to get married and teach university, I was bumped at the last minute from the plane, all belongings sold, only to see myself going broke. Crying and humiliated I called a friend in Colorado who said this is a sign from God that I am not to go.
With my goals, so “well planned” decimated, I went to Boise, Idaho hoping I could reconnect with family. As you and I know we don’t all change at the same speed. I did not have a home as I assumed. The safe place was going to come from within. I went to a homeless shelter. Broke in deep despair that this could happen to me. I worked two jobs with an execution plan. In the homeless shelter, I found my true self.
My words to you are to be yourself. Never give up on yourself.
After six weeks, I turned my life around moving into a luxury apartment on Main St. I am here to tell you that I have lived it. I’ll help you become the you God meant for you to find. I love you. Go. Jim
Jim Woods is a business leader, personal coach and organizational consultant. He is an author who helps people achieve mastery in their work, relationships, goals and health. He has served as an American Navy Seabee, taught fifth grade math and science as well as university. He has been homeless living in a shelter to only reinvent his life by finding the meaning in the experience. Jim knows how to help people become more than they thought capable. Read more about his biography here. Want to bring Jim in your life as a personal or business coach? Click here to schedule an appointment. Connect with Jim on: Facebook Linkedin Twitter Work with Jim. He’ll help you change your life.