My mother only had an eighth-grade education. She had a disastrous life of rape and abuse. I recall vividly as she shared the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., from his "Letter from Birmingham Jail" to me as a life lesson. "We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but the appalling silence of the good people."

These words have led us to ask an important question: What can well-meaning allies and bystanders do to disarm and dismantle the microaggressions they observe?

Frankly, my research and work on racial microaggressions started through a sequence of lifelong experiences and innocuous observations of racial encounters. For example, I am a black man that has lived most of his life as a devout Mormon. A woman said to my wife and me in church that we will become "white and delightsome when we die." The fact that I did not speak up or even consider her words offensive, but in some vein, took her words as though they were biblically proportionate causes me to squirm these 20 years later. I have had people not sit near me and shrug when they see me on the streets. Then again, most do not.

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Microaggressions are the daily slights, insults, put-downs, and offensive behaviors that marginalized groups experience in routine interactions with usually well-intentioned individuals who may be oblivious of their impact. Microaggressions are manifestations of prejudicial beliefs and attitudes outside the level of awareness. Psychologists have studied implicit bias for decades, alongside the role it plays in behavior. Virtually any marginalized group can be the target of microaggressions.

Most people committing microaggressions view themselves as morally decent who never consciously discriminate against anyone. Still, it is essential to recognize that none of us is immune from acceding to society's racial, gender, or sexual orientation biases.

Microaggressions frequently contain a hidden message to the target, exposing a biased attitude. For example, although the offender believes they congratulate someone for perhaps "speaking good English," the underlying message is, "You are not American."

The hesitancy to sit next to Black people on a bus is a message that "you are to be avoided because you are possibly dangerous, or a criminal." Many of my Black or Asian friends relate stories of how they enter an elevator with a non-black female only to sense she has tensed up, clutching her purse more tightly, and moving away fearfully.

Microaggressions often convey to targets that marginalized people and groups are dangerous, a threat, or subhuman.  

The idiom that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" expresses a belief that microaggressions are trivial. Detractors of microaggression theory think that we are "making a mountain out of a molehill." Perhaps, so sometimes. There are many legitimate factors to evaluating another person's response. Moreover, body language isn't 100% accurate. And to be honest, who among hasn't had the age-old "Foot and mouth disease," where even on our best day we say or do something wholly unreasonable.

Microaggressions aren't necessarily constant and continual in the life experience of people of color. I am oblivious to most of them. I don't experience them every day. I believe there are more people in any race pulling for me than against me. I expect everyone to like me. Generally, they do. What we believe is validated in our behavior toward others. Not being a victim held hostage by someone else's meanderings instead of their own isn't a success code for life.

Microaggressions are cumulative.

Microaggressions are constant reminders to people of color that they are second-class citizens.

Microaggressions are energy-depleting.

As Dr. King stated, silence and inaction in the face of moral transgressions are complicit. All of us, at work and home, have a moral responsibility to take action against bias and bigotry. To speak up. We are each other's keepers.

As you start your day tomorrow, reflect on this question throughout the day and in meetings, "what assumption will I make that will be proven wrong? What bias will affect my day?"

Regardless of how hard we try, we all have biases; we discriminate without even recognizing what we are doing.

Socrates reportedly said, "Know thyself." Personal introspection illuminates the oath to understanding others that leads to understanding. In other words, to "step into their shoes." Thus, one of the crucial roles of leadership is to constantly beat the drum to remind people of the importance of personal mastery; To look inward. See what is not being seen.

About Jim Woods

Jim Woods has been a global diversity and inclusion expert since 1998. He advocates linking strategic interventions to bottom-line business results. He is a D&I innovator and respected thought leader, having written numerous leadership books and contributed to many publications on the subject of strategic diversity and inclusion and leadership solutions.

He has taught fifth-grade math and science along with teaching human resources and leadership on the university level. Mr. Woods holds a bachelors’ degree in business administration and leadership. Including a master’s of science in organizational development and human resources.

He delights crowds as a speaker and is an accomplished children’s book author.