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How To Disagree Better

Image courtesy Eugene Lim

Image courtesy Eugene Lim

How we handle conflict is a leadership skill. It is the ability to identify with and relate with people that increases your influence with them. Our biases can create circumstances leading to how we react when something is disagreeable to us. We don’t want to live in a state where everyone agrees with us.

If anyone knows how to connect it should be a leader and manager. When we resolve conflict the right way every where one goes one draws people to you and your ideas.

Connecting is driving conflict in a direction that grows people instead of reducing their voice and their ability to think independently.  

There is a significant difference between disagreeing and being disagreeable. One can do harm progressively worsening an issue. The latter will establish trust leading to more innovation, reduction of bureaucracy, and enhancing productivity.

Because we can be overtly selfish in our positions, we can easily embrace our beliefs instead of listening to the other person causing courtesy to dissipate.

There are times one need to step in as a leader to resolve the situation.

Related: Join us for a 1-hour “How to Manage Conflict in the Workplace Webinar.” Learn More!

While it can be difficult to mediate between two parties, especially an underling who dares to disagree with the “boss,” or with each other, it's important to understand how to do so if you wish to restore productivity to your team. I did not mention peace. Which can be antithetical to innovation.

Below, is a video on “Disagreeing Better” by Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay for the New York Times.

Notes, the authors, “So, what do you do when we decide someones wrong? Engage or not.

You can, however, set a goal pertaining to each person so you know what to say and how to handle the situation effectively.

About Jim Woods

Before founding Woods Kovalova Group Jim served in the U.S. Navy Seabees going on to teach fifth-grade math and science. He taught university leadership and organizational change classes at Villanova, Dickinson, and Colorado Technical Universities. Jim has worked with the U.S. military to reform their departments. Passionate about helping people overcome disadvantage, Jim has been an advisor to numerous boards. He is happily married to his business partner Lucy Kovalova-Woods.